Saturday, September 13, 2014

Talk Before You Think

So, I'm an external processor. That's fancy lingo for "I think through speaking," In reality, that works through a 3-step system

  1. Make a statement
  2. Realise that doesn't sound right/Receive feedback
  3. Repeat until the full thought or idea is properly fleshed out and conceived
This has resulted in a large wake of offended and hurt individuals and, sometimes, rightfully so. Jokes end up either scathing or falling flat. People remark at the heartlessness of some of my ideas or just stand in confusion as the vagueness doesn't make sense. 

The challenge comes when people take my first statement as the sum of my speech. Society says one should think before one speaks and, so for one who thinks as as he speaks, this creates many an awkward situation. Why? Well, many individuals don't allow me to move past step one. all you have to do to discover this is go to my Facebook page and scroll a while or search a couple of my blogs on more contested subjects to see that. 

Majority of the hurts I have caused could simply be avoided by asking a small question, or letting me know that didn't come out right. That doesn't mean a small amount of hurt won't still be there, but the greater gulf that could have been averted will be.

So, this is a PSA for all members of society, bear with us "Outies" as we make gaffes or blabber on. It's just how we think. Instead, give us constructive feedback and I promise you, you'll find we can be rather amenable.

Post Script:
For those of you who've followed me for a while, you know I'm an introvert. Yes, you can be an introverted external processor. We just tend to be very self-conscious and are very jealous of the few "sounding board" friendships we make. To Dad, Jesse, Hopchak, and G, thank you for being those crucial sounding boards.