Thursday, June 9, 2011

Death by Parchment

So, I'm sure many of you who regularly read my blog remember my previous post about the discrepancy between America's appearance of jobs and its reality. No, I'm not going to withdraw that one, but I am singing a slightly different tune. that song being "I now have a job, the world is great and I'm making money!"

Shallow, no?

Still, I am extremely thankful for that job (at which i have my first full shift today). In fact, now that I have a job, one of my goals for summer break is finished. Now to work on that driver's license (a paperwork mission which rivals that of Vogons, I swear).

Okay, pleasantries aside, it's time to burst a bubble (I mean, what's the point of a semi-sarcastic, external commentary blog if there's nothing to shred to pieces?). So, most of you have done some sort of paperwork in the past, right? Have you ever stopped and wondered if it was all necessary? Let's look at some examples: for my job, I had to read through and periodically sign and inch-high stack of papers containing tax information for two years, acknowledgement of company rules, two other tax-related forms and a release form signing over my firstborn son; another example, my learner's permit application, didn't require as much signage, but it did need two proofs of identity, one proof of legal presence in the USA, one proof of state residence and one proof of my social security number.

Is this all necessary? Well, sadly, in America it is. There are so many thick-minded people here who search earnestly for some small loophole that would allow them to be paid for not working, evade taxes, receive certain privileges which aren't ascribed to them, etc. Additionally, some people will sue over trivial matters, so, to prevent being sued, the companies have to print large contracts, of which 99% of the pages are fine print.

So, I must ask, America, are you so lazy and lacking in common sense that you, as a result, deal  death penalty-level amounts of paperwork?